Charisma-Quotient:
Valuable Tips for Increasing Your Charisma

Reading People

In order to effectively communicate with someone, you need to get a "feel" for what they are thinking and feeling. Many of you may already be a "people watcher" type of person, but whether you are or not it's an important ingredient in increasing your charisma.

Observe the people you know throughout the day and try to "guess" what emotion they're feeling. Then ask them if your guess is correct. Your ability to guess correctly will increase over time and it's pretty fun experiencing the improvement.

Emotional Expression

Most of us are not quite as good at communicating emotion non-verbally as we think we are. This is done with the tone of our voice, our facial expressions, and our overall body language.

You can improve your emotional expression by conveying more feeling when you are conversing with people. Inflect your voice and don't be afraid to take a stand on a topic one way or the other. Sitting on the fence does nothing to improve you're charisma-quotient.

So practice in front of a mirror or better yet video tape yourself. The latter can be an eye-opening experience. I can watch videos of the bands I've been in throughout the years and basically cringe! I was completely unaware of most of my body language and mannerisms but hey, I did learn!

Hiding Your Emotions

It's one thing to be enthusiastic when speaking to others but showing the wrong emotion at the wrong time just makes people feel uncomfortable. It sends a signal to others that you lack self-discipline and don't have control over your emotions. It diminishes your charisma-quotient so just be aware to express the appropriate emotion at the appropriate times.

Reading between the Lines

Learn to step outside yourself. The best way to practice this is simply to sit in a cafe or bookstore and brush up on your people watching skills. Observe people and their interactions with each other paying particular attention to the clues and signals they're giving off.

Take note of both good and bad points that you feel increases or decreases the charisma of that person. Take the good observations with you and make sure you leave the bad ones behind.

When In Rome...

If you want to increase your charisma-quotient, when in Rome- do as the Romans do. Since part of being charismatic is "mirroring" what's going on around you, it's important to understand what the "norm" is in the environment you find yourself in.

Social rules differ between cultures, regions, subcultures, and age so it's a matter of being considerate and showing class when you take the time, ask questions, and work within the socially accepted norms of your environment. Don't be afraid to ask an older, wiser person if need be.

Develop a Multiple Personality

The ability to play different roles with different people and know what works best with certain people is a tremendous boost to your charisma-quotient. Now, you may ask if being charismatic is about being yourself, how can you play these different roles and be true to yourself at the same time?

Well, we all have many different aspects to our personalities. We're not always happy or sad, outgoing or withdrawn, chatty or quiet. Being socially flexible is bringing out that part of your unique personality that matches the appropriate situation.

Hopefully, if you visit this site on a regular basis and use the tools and techniques within, you're much more happy than you used to be no matter what situation you find yourself in!

Words Matter

It's important to be able to communicate and express yourself clearly and with flare. This means you should improve your communication style if not completely overhaul it altogether. Use inflection when you speak and learn to look people square in the eye when you do. Pay attention by observing others when they speak and learn what either makes them interesting to listen to, or what bores you to tears. Apply the good and of course don't mirror the bad.

Increasing Your Word Power

Some people really have a strong command of the language they speak. Spend more time expressing yourself verbally by giving speeches, conversing and simply make an effort to improve your ability to express yourself with words.

This may just be one of the easiest things to improve on. I'm not saying you need to memorize a new list of power words every morning, but if you do find yourself "searching" or "at a loss" for the appropriate word, go ahead and invest in a product like Verbal Advantage or similar resource. Heck, you can always get the toilet paper that can do the same basic thing! :-)

Just be careful not to let your ego get in the way when you find yourself gaining a more impressive command over your language. You'll be excited but there is no need to impress people who, if you've observed them correctly, probably won't understand them. It's like lifting the ceiling on your power to communicate effectively and with flare but the wise person knows when, where, and how to communicate.